Fevi Kwik

It is advisable that one uses the Fevi Kwik Rs.5 pack judiciously. I will now qualify one such aspect of care.

It so happens that it comes with a cap for re-use. You use it once and put on the cap. A few days later, you pick it up again to glue something else. The cap opens, but the hole at the top is covered up with the hardened glue. There are umpteen options available to make it usable. 

It so happens, that I chose to open it, by biting on the hardened glue. Spurted out did the remaining glue into my mouth, causing my tongue to stick with itself in folds , my tongue to stick to the teeth of the lower jaw, my teeth of the upper jaw to stick with the teeth of the lower jaw and my teeth of the lower jaw to inner side of my right cheek inside the mouth. 

Instant panic allowed me to untwine my tongue and detach it from the teeth followed by separation of the now seemingly conjoined jaws and then the mouth. After a good 10 minutes of scratching my teeth and tongue with a screw driver, I had my mouth in a better shape than before and was able to talk. There is still some of it stuck to my premolars, but that is left to be fought with another day.

So now you know the moral of this story. 

And by the way, this is not the worst I have put my mouth to trouble. A couple of years back, I gargled and mouthwashed with Dettol. Strong after taste you know. May be you can try. So strong, for the next 3 months, I could not taste anything I ate. True Story, Akshay, True Story.


My First Lawsuit

I intend to sue Microsoft ( Windows Vista), Apple ( Safari ) , Dell ( Vostro 1400) and most importantly WordPress, for not telling me that blog post drafts cannot be saved while not being connected to the internet.

Moral of Another Story :

Use Notepad. Always.

Cry Baby

I cry a lot. When I am cutting onions. Which is very rare. So I cry very rarely. 

 Coming to the point. Today, I learnt the best way to peel the undesirable cover of an onion. I used to peel the whole onion and cry. Cut the damn thing in half and it almost peels off  on its own.

Feel so stupid now, having done it the other way all this time.


I work as an Office Assistant ( Yes. OA ) in the Cardiac Surgery Dept. at URMC. My job involves minimal amount of filing of patient charts. Since it is the first time for me, being in an office environment and experiencing active exposure to a new culture, it has been really amazing to witness the kind of banter that goes on. Took me quite sometime in realizing which of it are for fun and which are insults. Though the setup is not quite Scrubs/Grey’s Anatomy/-esque, still one gets to witness all that drama.

Since we deal with a whole lot of patients, we do get some really cranky ones. Here are two such instances.

Case 1 :

About a month ago, there was this call. It was a female, speaking with a heavy Italian accent. She was rambling in a manner none of us could really understand what she intended to say. She was speaking for a male patient, who had previously consulted the surgeon based on his cardiologist’s advice. She spoke for close to half an hour. At the fag end of the conversation, all that we understood, is that she was not his wife, but they were living together for the past 2 months. He was too proud to take help from his brothers and hence is staying alone. Thats it. Half an hour. That is all the information we got from her. Not because of the accent, because we had someone who undid the accent part. And then finally came the real reason. That male, had had a stroke then and she was calling for help and this was after 30 minutes of family non sense. I thought everyone knew about 911. What became of the case later on, I do not know, but at that moment I was appalled at the sheer stupidity of that female. A life is at stake and this is what you do?

Case 2 :

For the past week or so , most of the department were conversing about an in-patient who was being referred to as The Crazy Guy. I did not know why and I felt that they were being insensitive in calling him that. Today, coming to know of the entire story, I feel they are totally justified in doing so. Here was a guy, with blown up arteries & dilated valves, who was consistently refusing surgery. After finally agreeing to the same, he was put on schedule for surgery today. But in the wee hours, he threw a fit again, made the surgeon come down to the hospital and got the surgery canceled. 3 hours past his schedule surgery time, he had a stroke.

His reason for getting the surgery canceled : I like to go to the beach a lot. If I get this surgery done, then I don’t think girls would find me attractive with the scar on me.

Some specimens these are.